A sense of belonging
shapes a sense of self
Belonging is an inherent human condition in which we strive for
acceptance and
security through others. A sense of belonging is vital for our survival
and existence, as belonging reinforces our self-confidence and shapes a sense of
self. The need
to belong to a group or a community shapes our behaviour, attitudes and actions.
This was displayed clearly in the Film “Skins”, where Sandra’s sense of
belonging was moulded and manipulated, due to where she placed in society. As people grow their values and codes change
due to changes of relationship, groups and communities they belong to and are
rejected by.
To whom and where we belong
heavily impacts on our identity and sense of self. People belong if they have
similar interests, values, heritage, place, points of view, socio-economic
status and culture. It is those people who surround us that influence our behaviour,
attitudes and actions in every day life and often mould how you feel about
yourself as a person. “We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love
and belonging, power, freedom, and fun.”- William Glasser. This quote clearly
signified that it is part of our nature to belong and it is only when you
belong or even are rejected, that you shape your identity and sense of self.
Sandra’s characteristics from the film “Skins” often fluctuated and
changed to which social groups she belonged to. She was often unsure about how
she felt and never developed a great understanding about her self. Due to the
constant debate on the racial group she belonged to, Sandra never felt apart of
either as she never developed a sense of belonging to either, and never had the
opportunity to discover and shape herself. It was if though the grass was
always greener on the other side, and she could never truly decide who she
really wanted to belong to. She grew up as a confident girl but was never
considered to be completely either ‘White” or “Black”, causing her to not
understand herself and who she truly was. Belonging is essential to discover
and shape who you are.
As people change and grow we
start to develop our own set of values and codes to which we conform. These
values are developed throughout early childhood and into adulthood through
personal affiliations and experiences with the groups we belong to and get
rejected by. We learn to judge and alienate people who are different in any
means to ourselves. Mainly in terms or height, weight, skin color and culture,
therefor allow us to helps us understand and shape our sense of self. The more
we grow, the more groups we belong to, the more we belong, the more we
understand our sense of self.
Without belonging it can be very
difficult to shape you as a person. Whether it is to whom and where we belong,
or the change and growth of the people you belong to, belonging is vital in
discovering and shaping a sense of self. Sandra is key example of how essential
it is to belong and the impact of what not belonging can do and how detrimental
it can be in manipulating and molding who you are.
